For decades, Wall Street bankers have done a lot of things with "the markets"... They've played them. They've tanked them. They've manipulated them and committed fraud on their behalf. They've written Macroeconomic Forecasts and constructed PHD Analytics Models for the markets. But ask yourself...
Have they ever SLID into the markets - slid into exceptional returns without extraordinary risk? A slide so smooth, they'd be reminiscent of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter commercials - like Cinderella's Slipper, custom-fitted so it never falls off and she never loses her prince?
Because that's what our Rapunzl Investor Socks feel like, and frankly, we're not sharing with Wall Street. Also, if you hear your investment advisor recommending that you "slide into returns", you're going to want to run the other way; and yes, you'll probably run faster if you have these socks.
Full disclosure, the only member of Wall Street we did actually send a pair to, was Warren Buffett, along with the Vintage Rapunzl Hat. Our founder Myles Gage met the Oracle of Omaha in 8th Grade after winning the Federal Reserve's Money Smart Essay contest, so we thought, who better as a spokesperson?
Alas, Myles was cuter back then. Or Warren was less busy... Either way, don't bring it up with him? Last time it led to a ton of tension in the office, even while we work from home.
Back to this idea of Wall Street bankers taking 7am Subways, tweeting #RiseAndGrind, and etching out minuscule gains while you slide into market returns from the confines of your couch eating Cheddar Ruffles in your underwear and Rapunzl socks.
Let's savor that for a second.... Mmmm.
DISCLAIMER: This product description was written by someone wearing Rapunzl's Investor Socks and as such, was impossible to keep impartial. The tantalizing softness of cotton & polyester provided an incredible Comfort Journey for the author's feet and we apologize if this introduced any bias.